Friday, May 25, 2012

why the f*ck friday (4)

Welcome to a new weekly meme post. I'll be asking myself a single question--normally a thought on a book or a bookish subject--that I've been pondering for the past week. This week it's "Why the f*ck do you visit my blog?"

I want to talk about my blog in general terms. I will probably get specific and give a list of things I don't like* about this blog and what I do like**. I get that the newspaper review of a book is almost dead, and that there are tons of great cooking blogs out there, but I am at loss as to why someone would come to this blog.

I didn't really start Hitting On Girls in Bookstores to become popular. I wasn't expecting to have more than ten friends on Google Friend Connect. I wasn't expecting to have a Twitter page or a dedicated email address or an actual domain for this blog. I really started it for myself. I just wanted to keep a public journal of everything I was reading (there was also a plan in there for me to talk about my adventures in fitness and piano playing).

So I am at a loss when it comes to blogging. I've had to have help from people before (Asheley and Ginger being the two most helpful of you great lot of people) and I've had to get book recommendations from everyone because I was almost completely new to YA when I started out (it's been a fun journey so far).

Recently my friend (yes my friend) Lisa from Lisa is Busy Nerding decided to quit blogging. She threw up her arms and decided to take a break after reading a blogging manifesto.

I realized that I had a blogging manifesto. One that I have never announced to anyone except one or two people. In my experience I've always been a quality over quantity type of guy. I fret over my posted reviews and anything else that I write for a week before posting it. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and write an entire post in 30 minutes and wonder "WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM? WHY CAN'T I DO THAT ALL THE TIME?"

Adam's Officially Unofficial Blogging Manifesto:

  • Quality over quantity (even if I can't write for crackers).
  • No giveaways (I want people to read what I wrote, not come here for free shit).
  • No guest posts (this is my blog, back the f*ck up).
  • No ARCs (I want to talk about books that have already been published).
  • This is a hobby, not a job. I can quit when I want.

Outside of badly written reviews (in my mind at least) and a few meme posts, I often wonder why anyone would come here. Why do you guys go to any blog? I go for opinions and recommendations, that's about it. I go because I want to interact with other readers. But for the life of me I cannot think that this is why people would come here or why my hit count (that I do not care about) is always going up.

This morning I woke up and was all prepared to talk about Fifty Shades of Grey and all that jazz. Instead I found myself writing one of those rare thirty minute posts that just fall out of me. Instead I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for making this blog popular. Thank you for reading what I took time to write even if I don't think it's worth it. THANK YOU FOR THE RECOMMENDATIONS. Thank you for the conversation that has been provided so far. And guys, I really do want world peace.***

I think you're all awesome.

That's it for this week's why the f*ck friday. Different opinion? Similar experience? Similar thoughts on this subject? Post it below in the comments. Feel free to berate me, praise me, or buy me some fancy coffee. You can even tell me to f*ck off and then buy me a coffee. I enjoy hearing the bookish and nerdy thoughts of others. 

*Among them my ever changing writing style as I switch between a first person and third person perspective, past tense and future tense, and present tense.
**Pictures of cats.
***I've watched Miss Congeniality too many times.


  1. My manifesto reply.
    I come to HoGiB because:
    1) Many blogs are advertisements for books, not real analyses written from the heart, in the blogger's own words
    2) I think thoughtful honesty is often a hallmark of blogs that review already-published books (see: Chachic's Book Nook)
    3) It's fun to read a dude's opinion
    4) It's fun to read someone who doesn't take it all dreadfully seriously
    5) I live for your loose-cannon posts, where you start shouting at the author.

    1. 1. Ugh. I cannot stand that. I will never put ads on this site.
      2. I visit Chachic's bloc and thank you.
      3. I seem to have an edge on that market.
      4. Seriousness killed the professional book review. That is my honest opinion.
      5. I have one of those lined up soon.

  2. I agree to all of Elizabeth's reasons. I tried to remember what drew me here in the first place and I can't, but after reading one post I kept coming back, and yours is one of the blogs that I most look forward to reading.
    I love your manifesto, by the way. It screams in the face of everything everyone else has been saying about how to get blog traffic up (guest posts, etc). You're successful because you stay true to yourself and everyone apparently must like you.

    1. Aww. Thank you Emily! I agree, looking for traffic just seems like too much I work. I do linkups sometimes, but every other day would be too much work/too many filler posts.

      Apparently everyone does like me, even when I hate on their favorite books.

  3. I read your blog because it's honest and funny. It's also unusual for a guy to read YA, and I like getting a different perspective on one of my fave genres.

    1. I'm an odd creature. I look totally out of place in the YA section of the bookstore, but then I start talking and people are like "Wow. He knows his sh*t!"

      Thank you!

  4. I just remember seeing how funny Ginger and Asheley thought you were when they found your blog. I can't pass up a funny guy!

    It is also interesting to see a guy's point of view on some of these super chicky books. Your perspective is refreshing in a particularly dominant female "world".

    I love that you'll just blurt out f*ck! Heck, I love this weekly thing you're doing on Fridays! You say stuff that I just can't.

    1. Thank you! I like the super chicky books. They've really humbled me and have introduced me to a world I'm sure most guys don't know exists.

      Seems I need to use more random curse words. Haha.

  5. I literally just stumbled upon your blog. So, I'll write why I like it so far.

    This particular post is quite awesome (its the first one I've read) and I think your manifesto is on point. It's nice when anyone shows some personality and signs that they're not a robot, or trying to sell me something.

    You said that you started your blog for yourself and that's how it should be. I write my 'reviews' however the fook I want, spoilers and all. And what I really look for in book blogs is discussion -- real discussion, as in actual conversation...and recommendations too I suppose.

    Great post. I'm going to check out the rest of your blog now. Have a great weekend.

    1. Thank you Amber and welcome to my blog!

      I really think when you bloc for yourself instead of traffic you get more out of it. I started it because I wanted to talk about books, not sell them to people.

      I look forward to reading your reviews when I get a chance later today. Thank you again and enjoy your weekend!

  6. Besides our blog and Book Nerd Teri's individual blog, HOGIB is the only book blog that I read.

    1. Your reviews are funny and honest.
    2. Your posts often bring up some interesting points about a book/character that I didn't think about before. Your overall opinion about a book may be the same or different than mine, but I am always able to see the book from another perspective after reading your reviews. Many other reviews tend to restate my own thoughts/opinions and yours don't, which I like.
    3. I agree with your manifesto 100%. I wish Mary would do the same for our blog, but she started it and I just post a few reviews a month. It is her baby not mine. I posted one too many comments to their reviews and the next thing I knew they asked me to write my own reviews...which I agreed to do.
    4. I like having someone to discuss books with. Most of my "real life" friends do not read YA and look at me crazy when I suggest that they read a YA book.

    1. Oh wow. Really? I am honored!

      1. Thank you! I try.
      2. Oh good. I try not to be mainstream. Also, I try not to use Goodreads descriptions.
      3. Haha. Its funny how this internet thing works, right? I was never expecting anyone to comment on this wtff.
      4. Exactly. That's why I do this. I'm not against giveaways or anythingike that, it's just not for me.

      Thank you again! I really appreciate your comment.

  7. Where did this come from? A manifesto? I get it! And I fully support it, of course.

    I don't know why I come here every day, really. I'm so sorry that I can't do any better than that with a good reason. Everybody has these great lists and I do not have a great list! I FAIL.

    What I can tell you is this: I do not read any other blogs every day.* I started reading this thing because it was super funny and made me laugh with my coffee, which you know. But your voice is changing (not your real voice, DO NOT change that) and I love that too. So I guess I'm just invested whether it's a funny day, a 'you're-super-brave-for-putting-that-out-there' day, or a 'wow! you totally write your words real good' day. Also, sidenote, a great blog grows on its own and that is all.

    (Also, I just like to try and spot ALLCAPS and !!!! so I can snort whatever I'm drinking at the moment.)

    *I only skipped Tuesday because YOU said there was nothing. It's totally your own fault. I blame you!

    1. I've been thinking about it since I visited Lisa's bloc last week and saw she was leaving for a while.

      My voice is changing? I assume you mean my writing style. I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment?

      I'm glad you enjoy my bloc as much as I enjoy yours. It's why I link back to you aduh. Also, ill get back to you on FB later, I keep forgetting to respond back to your last message.

      I'm just... As I grow as a blogger I am starting to notice trends that I'm not in to do, and that such thing. And I only throw things out there because no one else has. I think I started to notice this when I posted that the character Four is offensive to me as a male.

      I don't find memos wrong, I do them sometimes. IMM, Tune in Tuesday, etc. But sometimes it's a bit much and I'd rather be writing. I stopped doing videos because I wanted to write more.

      Thank you for your comments and your help this entire time. I really appreciate it.

    2. writing style ---> But your voice is changing...and I love that too. <--- compliment

  8. I'm recently new to your blog, I don't remember how I found it, but after reading a few posts I was hooked.

    I have a small blog and it's mostly for me, I see my regular 2-3 readers per-post and question anything higher than that sometimes. I do it for me and I think once you start feeling like you have to do it for someone else then it's no longer fun.

    I also run a blog for a group, that one I get stressed about when I can't think of a great post for our 3 posting days. I feel the pressure and if my personal blog ever gets that way I'll stop.

    1. II love my regular commenters. You guys are awesome. I don't normally leave comments on other blogs, but know that I was there, and I read it.

      I think you've got it right. Once I start accepting books or start blogging for anyone but myself--like to appease a certain group--it compromises my writing, and the reasons for why I blog.

  9. I like reading a lot of the same books as you do. And where our tastes differ, I get exposed to new books, and I can decide whether or not to give them a try. It's the same reason I read any book blog. I like the reviewer's back catalog enough to trust them in the future.
    Having said that, I skip nearly every post that's not an explicit review. I have no idea why I actually decided to read this one.

    1. Since we read a lot of the books let me say that you have excellent taste in books.

      I have no problem with people skipping my WTFF or Tune in Tuesdays or IMMs. If I could do nothing but post reviews all week I would.

  10. I like that you write for yourself, and that you say whatever you want about the books you read. Reviews that come out as formulas get boring, as are people who take themselves too seriously. There are bazillions of YA focused blogs out there and they all run together. It's clear that you read and blog because you enjoy it.

    Also, as stated, being a guy who reads YA is somewhat of a novelty. And all of us girls wish that we could be hit on in a bookstore.

    Finally, quit putting down your writing skills, because
    1. Nobody likes the way they write
    2. You have enough readers that you should realize that you're not horrible at it (unless we're all reading your blog to laugh at your writing abilities)
    3. People can self publish crap and make millions, so it doesn't matter any way
    4. A unique voice (which you possess) is more important than proper grammar and spelling

    I think if you can write a post asking people why they like your blog (even if it's cleverly disguised as a general question) and not come across as an a-hole finishing for compliments than you're doing something right. So bravo.

    1. "fishing for compliments" - Clearly I'm the one who can't write.

    2. I think that comment was very well written. I wasn't fishing for compliments--it didn't occur to me that this post could come across as whiny or me begging for attention, I really am wondering why people come here and why it's growing so rapidly in size. It just amazes me sometimes.

      1. I have been told that.
      2. Thank you (the thought has crossed my mind...).
      3. Oh gosh. Don't remind me.
      4. Thank you again. I don't have proper grammar and spelling? (I'm not surprised at this revelation).

      Haha. I've been found out! Oh no! Thank you for your comments, Lola. I appreciate them.

    3. Exactly! You were earnest and your intent was clear. But notice how I got you to compliment me there? HA! (also, Thank You)

      4. Sorry! I didn't mean to insult your grammar and spelling. I haven't noticed that you have a problem with them. Even if you did, it probably wouldn't bother me unless it was obnoxious. My undergraduate degree is not in English.

    4. I noticed that.

      4. I was poking fun of myself. I sometimes forget how to use commas.

  11. I read your blog because Asheley said it was good and she is legit.

    Ha ha, but really, I like that you don't review ARCs and aren't all caught up in that BS.

    I also like that you are a male perspective that doesn't irritate me because you don't come across as a weirdo at all. You have cool tattoos. Your reviews are honest and actually well written and that I get the point you are trying to get across about your thoughts on the book even though I might not always agree. I like that. I'm not saying everyone is a sell out or anything, but I like that your blog hasn't sold out and that's why I keep coming back even though I don't always comment (like I had the page open for the longest time on A Northern Light but never left a comment because I wasn't quite sure what to say).

    1. Finally being a dude is paying off.

      I visit your blog all the time, April. I might not leave a comment but I do read your reviews (your blog has wine in the title--I have to read it).

      Thank you for the compliments.

  12. I really like to visit your blog to get a male's perspective on books and you have a distinctive "voice" with your reviews. I'm especially a fan of your video reviews! I also like that you reply to comments. :-)

    I love your "no ARCs" policy because I much prefer reading reviews of books that I can go out and buy or get from the library right NOW rather than having to wait for several months. The only comments I can leave on reviews for ARCs that come out in several months are something along the lines of "Wow, can't wait to read this"... whereas for reviews of books that have already been published, we can actually engage in a discussion about the book which is much more fun.

    And as mentioned in a comment above, I appreciate that you do not have ads on your blog. I have stopped visiting a few different blogs that have begun to fill their blog with many ads because it suddenly feels like those bloggers care more about making money through their blog than talking about books.

    I can't wait for your review of Fifty Shades of Grey! I'm sure it is going to be hilarious.

    1. Where some see "voice" I see cultural references and TYPING IN ALL CAPS. I try to reply to EVERY comment and email and Tweet that comes my way. I said I would, and gosh darn it, I'm going to.

      Yes. Unless it's the next Lauren Oliver I'm skipping it. I started a blog to talk about books. How can I talk about the book when no one else has read it? I don't get those ARC people sometimes.

      It is very distracting. If it came down to putting ads on this blog, I would quit blogging. Getting any kind of revenue for this means it's officially a job. I don't need another job, I've already got one.

      I am not just doing a review of Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm doing a summary, a review, and a WTFF about it. So about three posts right there. Trust me. It's coming. I'm going to read the book so no one else has to.

  13. Personalty, Humor and Good Discussion bring me back to a blog. I stumbled across yours not to long ago, and I bookmarked you because you are a MALE book blogger. We need more! I obviously return to read your thoughts, though I don't always comment.

    1. Yes! We need more male book bloggers and more male YA readers!

      It's alright. I'm all over your blog since you started posting it. I don't always comment either.

  14. You take things seriously but not Seriously, because you're snarky, because you say smart things without trying to sound Smart, because you can talk about "girl" and "boy" things without also drifting into constructed gender ideas bs, because you don't talk about Foucault, because you clearly love books, even if you don't love particular books, you talk about books and booze (also why I like Forever Young Adult), you are outspoken against whiny characters, etc, etc.

    1. Thank you Debra! I do sometimes cross the line of the boy/girl thing when I say that a book is distinctly for a girl (someone took offense to that once).

      I try not to be serious. If I did I'd be boring and stuffy and it's too much work to be those things.

      Ugh. Whiny characters. I'm having The Future of Us flashbacks.

  15. I found your blog through Tune in Tuesday. I keep coming back to visit it because 1) You usually post some pretty great music and introduce me to things I have never listened to before. 2) I don't really know any guys that read YA (so that's pretty awesome lol) 3)because of posts like these :)

    1. Excellent. I enjoy Tune in Tuesdays because other people comment back with "if you like that, you'll love this!" which is why I keep doing it.

      Thank you Bianca!

  16. Note to all readers: My 8 month old is in bed and I have broken out the tequila (read: I am halfway through one margarita and it has been so long since I partook (hey look - partook is actually a word - Go Me!) that I'm buzzed already) so this may be brilliant or it may be a jumble of words that not even I will be able to decipher tomorrow.

    I come here because you have a great voice. It is true, and honest and lacking in bullshittery (yes firefox spell check, I know that is not a word BUT IT SHOULD BE DAMMIT). Take, for example, your sadomasochistic foray into Jane Austen. I was right there with you for Pride and Prejudice. And then I was mind fucked and left annoyed and blathering about how Austen needed to get laid. But you soldiered on. And I learned two things - 1. You are tougher than me
    2. If I ever get my hands on a time machine I am making it my mission to introduce Jane Austen to a life of debauchery so that high schoolers will no longer be forced to read her whiny claptrap.

    I forgot where I was going with this, either way - If you are ever in Eastern Canada, feel free to stop by for a drink. I only stock the good tequila.

    1. This is so awesome. I am going to use bullshittery on a future post. Just you wait.

      Thank you all around. Jane Austen drained me and has kept me from reading a few classics that I've been wanting to read.

      I am doing a Fifty Shades of Grey review/commentary next month ala Jane Austen Head Spin style. Should be interesting.

  17. 1. There is no such thing as watching Miss Congeniality too many times.
    2. I read your blog because you read what you want, when you want, how you want.
    3. You blog with integrity and honesty and 'dontgiveafuckery'
    4. I read your blog because you're funny and nerdy and that's kind of my thing but whatever there can be two of us who do that thing I GUESS.
    5. You rule.

    1. 1. I'm sorry, I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.
      2. Pretty much how I live my life too.
      3. Thank you.
      4. I only learned it from you.
      5. You do too.

  18. B/c you're awesome. And hilarious. And you admist to watching Miss Congeniality! And, tons more. You're just a really cool person!! Oh, and yeah, the pictures of cat. ;)

    1. Thanks Mandie! I could've swore I already replied to your comment... She was in a little movie called Arma-get-it-on.

  19. I keep coming back because your reviews are funny, honest, and make me think about books in a completely different way. It's also nice to see a guy sharing his opinions about YA, which seems to be a rarity in book blogs.

    1. Thank you! It is a rarity, hopefully I can find a few more guy YA bloggers in the future.

  20. I am a middle aged, white, female (Aust) teacher librarian who spends all day trying to get boys to read. I want to buy so-called *girly* books for my library and coming here to read what you write affirms my opinion that boys like to read a diversity of literature.

    Plus, I love all the quality notions. I get fed up with 'at least they are reading'.

    (also you 'friended' me on goodreads.)

    1. Boys love to read a diversity of literature. It's just never recommended to us because we're boys. Also, it's kind of frowned upon in our culture for a boy to even want a book with a pink cover. I'm trying to get rid of that notion. Recommend good books, just not what you think fits a certain gender stereotype.

  21. It is extremely rare to find another heterosexual male who enjoys Sarah Dessen and Lauren Oliver, as well as one that uses gifs of drunk/hungover cats and uses the word f*ck as a noun. So trust me when I tell you we follow you not for anything but your semi-spectacular wit and relevant observations on life/blogging/book-geekiness. I also like that you're uncompromisingly honest. To paraphrase John Green, we're not sentimental people. We would totally ditch you if we didn't find you as useful as you are.

    Plus it's nice having a blog on your feed that you didn't follow a million years ago for some stupid ARC/e-reader.

    1. F*ck as a noun = the only way to live.

      I think most guys don't know what they're missing. You're seeing into a girl's head and getting a good story, and if you meet a girl who likes these books it's an instant conversation starter and they'll love you for it.

      Thank you! And thank you for paraphrasing John Green at me, no one has ever paraphrased him towards me before.

      Haha. Yeah. I have a few of those. They're not on my feed anymore.

  22. I started reading your blog when you were reading the works of Jane Austen. You had such a hilarious take on them that I started reading your blog regularly.

    It's interesting to get a guy's perspective on books, especially YA. You're also not always reading the same books that everyone else is reading at the moment. It's refreshing.

    1. Thank you Jenn. I try not to fall into certain traps. There's a few things I never wanted this blog to be about, and I think I'm finally coming to terms with it.

      You have been hanging around here for a while, and I appreciate your comments and Tweets and everything!

      I didn't realize it at first, but after Jane Austen it kind of became obvious what this blog is about: it's a guy's journey through the YA book world, which is becoming an increasingly female only world. I don't know why it's not cool for guys to read YA, but here we are.

  23. Hello Adam,

    I was wandering the wonderweb looking for book bloggers who would review one or more of my books. I read your review policy and realized I don't have any drugs spare, my name's not Lauren and I was on a hiding to nothing.

    I can however recommend a very good book, from one of my reading groups, The Moon's a Balloon by David Niven. It's a hidden gem and laugh out loud funny. He might come across as stuck up in those old movies but his life was wild.

    Easily the most enjoyable book I've read this year!

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