Sense & Sensibility: Everyone is a Cartoon Character

Chapters Read: 35- 50
Sanity Level: Gary Busey Light
Update: I said "Screw you Jane Austen. I'm finishing this book tonight."

When we last left off Elinor & Co were about to have dinner with Edward's mom. Edward's not there but it's awkward. Edward's mom (who in my mind looks like the old lady from Poltergeist) makes it abundantly clear that she does not like Elinor or Marianne (this is--seriously--the part where Marianne cries AGAIN). She does, however, love Ed's secret fiance Lucy Steele.

It turns out not to matter what Ed's mom thinks: everyone finds out about Lucy Steele and Her Secret Engagement* and Ed's mom disapproves so much that she disowns him.

It's now clear to Elinor that Colonel Brandon does indeed love Marianne. Oh Marianne, she's done nothing but cry the entire book. Between chapters 37 and 48 she is fairly sick and bed ridden (poor her). I lost sympathy for Marianne after chapter 20. She's like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh "Nobody cares. Nobody listens. Boo hoo."

Her sickness prompts a visit from Colonel Brandon. He decides to give Edward and his wife a rectory. That is not 19th century for ass kicking. That's 19th century for "Here. Take this old church I have and fix it up!"

Not. So. Quick. It turns out Edward has a brother named Robert. Robert has met Elinor and Marianne before. I just never thought anything of it because, ya know, Austen made him a nameless character talking about toothpicks and gardens, my two least favorite subjects**.

Elinor or Squidward? I can't tell.

It turns out Lucy has fallen out of love with Edward and he feels the same way. Elinor finds this out and cries tears of joy. Which is the only real emotion she's expressed the ENTIRE novel. Since I've made Marianne Eeyore; I'm making Elinor Squidward.

Well, Ed shows up and proposes and Elinor accepts. Colonel Brandon (in the last chapter) proposes to Marianne or something. Will Bow Bow is back on good terms with everyone. The Dashwood Sisters are happy and in love and everything is right in the world again.

I am so glad to be done with this one and onto the next (Pride & Prejudice). The entire book is full of speculation on relationships between characters, characters talking about other characters, what happened at the character's party last night, here say, rumors, tiny amounts of sexual tension, and not enough sex.

Tomorrow will bring Sense & Sensibility: A Critical Breakdown.

*This is the name of my band's first CD. 
**The third being guys who give other guys churches.
Side Note: Plump Mrs. Jennings, Margaret (the third sister), Mrs. Dashwood, Sir John "Creepy Van", Mrs. Palmer, Lucy's sister; are all ignored by me in this posting because they just don't matter. In high school you have the popular crowd. You have the popular girl everyone knows, the popular girl's best friend, the popular girl's boyfriend, the popular girl's best friend's boyfriend, and then the rest of the crew. These people? They're the rest of the crew and no one cares.