Sanity Level: Losing it.
Update: Let's start this Magic School Bus of a blog post out the right way. This is a conversation I had with a friend this morning:
Friend: What are you reading?
Me: Jane Austen. After Matched and Dash & Lily; I can't read any more books about teenage romance.
Friend: You're reading Jane Austen!
Me: .... Fuck.
Because that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm reading a book about girls that spend all their time thinking about boys. I am reading young adult novels for teenage girls right now; my copy of Emma was found in the young adult section of a B&N.
Anyways.
Edward is engaged! And Elinor finds out from the girl he's engaged to; the very stupid and illiterate (Austen's words, not mine) Lucy Steele! I was wondering why the Steele Sisters showed up as neither contributed to the advancement of the plot.
And just like the alien water death at the end of Signs, I did not see this plot twist coming: Edward has been engaged to Lucy Steele for four years.* It has thrown a wrench into Elinor's life plans. It turns out she does love him. She hasn't admitted it yet but it's apparent.
Still no Will Bow Bow for Marianne. But both Marianne and Elinor are on their way to London with Mrs. Jennings. The two don't even want to be seen in public with Big Jenny, but go anyways because their mom--Mrs Dashwood--wants to decorate their rooms while they're gone.
Only in the 19th century would a mother pawn off her two nubile teenage daughters to a completely annoying stranger and allow them to be taken to a major metropolitan area just so she can renovate their rooms. Let me restate that last sentence: a mother let a stranger she barely knows take her two daughters to a major city so she can decorate their rooms.
This book. It's insanity.
*For an ugly, boring, disagreeable guy who has zero self-confidence; Edward is reeling the women in.
Anyways.
Edward is engaged! And Elinor finds out from the girl he's engaged to; the very stupid and illiterate (Austen's words, not mine) Lucy Steele! I was wondering why the Steele Sisters showed up as neither contributed to the advancement of the plot.
And just like the alien water death at the end of Signs, I did not see this plot twist coming: Edward has been engaged to Lucy Steele for four years.* It has thrown a wrench into Elinor's life plans. It turns out she does love him. She hasn't admitted it yet but it's apparent.
Still no Will Bow Bow for Marianne. But both Marianne and Elinor are on their way to London with Mrs. Jennings. The two don't even want to be seen in public with Big Jenny, but go anyways because their mom--Mrs Dashwood--wants to decorate their rooms while they're gone.
Only in the 19th century would a mother pawn off her two nubile teenage daughters to a completely annoying stranger and allow them to be taken to a major metropolitan area just so she can renovate their rooms. Let me restate that last sentence: a mother let a stranger she barely knows take her two daughters to a major city so she can decorate their rooms.
This book. It's insanity.
*For an ugly, boring, disagreeable guy who has zero self-confidence; Edward is reeling the women in.
It's because his name is Edward.
ReplyDeleteElinor is no Bella. Marianne, however, is extremely clumsy and a bit of an airhead. She fits the MO perfectly.
ReplyDeletegah i've not laughed as hard at any of your posts as this one. which is saying SO MUCH. quit your job right now and be a writer. thank god i wasn't drinking anything.
ReplyDeleteI have natural comedic tendencies, or so I hear. I'm adding a disclaimer to this blog: do not drink liquids while reading.
ReplyDelete*and bring extra pants.
ReplyDeleteAdam, you're hilarious. I kinda love you.
ReplyDelete- Jana @ That Artsy Reader Girl
These posts are very quickly becoming the highlight of my day.
ReplyDeleteAnd who pointed you in the direction of that hideous copy of Emma? The brilliant AnneShirley06, aka Me. I'm happy that I've contributed to your continued immersion in books for teenage girls.