Sanity Level: Normal
Update: I could've done without the first few chapters of this book. So, like the third sister in this novel; I'm going to pretend like they don't exist.
|Elinor and Marianne.|
"Sir John Middleton was a good-looking man about forty."
"His manly beauty and more than common gracefulness were instantly the theme of general admiration"
"Miss Dashwood had a delicate complexion, regular features, and a remarkably pretty figure."I mean, Austen nailed it and she nailed it before anyone else thought of it: no one wants to read about ugly people and their love lives. The only person who is ugly is Sir John, Marianne and Elinor's weirdo cousin**. Oh and Mrs. Jennings. Who is fairly obese and gets into everyone's business. Also Edward. So it's not really an A&F catalog, it's more like Sears.
See, Elinor had this little somethin' somethin' goin' on back home with this guy named Edward. She moved, so it kind of ended abruptly. Now she spends all her time hanging out with a guy named Colonel Brandon. I call him Colonel Silverfox because he's, like, 20 years older than her but is totally going to hit that. Which I find strange but it's the 19th century and people are adhering to ridiculous social etiquette, so whatever.
Marianne (after falling down that pesky hill) meets Willoughby. Or Will Bow Bow as I've been calling him. Will Bow Bow is all about some Marianne. The two spend so much time together that everyone starts to make fun of them.
Such conduct of course made them exceedingly laughed at: but ridicule could not shame, and seemed hardly to provoke them.That's Austen for "Wow. Those two are stuck up each others asses." At this point everyone is trying to figure out if they're engaged or not.
I am actually getting into this book and the characters. It's probably because every character gossips about every other character. It turns out I'm reading the 19th century version of Mall Rats. I can see how someone read Emma and went on to make Clueless.
- The old gentleman died; his will was read, and like almost every other will, gave as much disappointment as pleasure.
- She was sensible and clever, but eager in everything; her sorrows, her joys, could have no moderation.
- The whole story would have been speedily formed under her active imagination, and everything established in the most melancholy order of disastrous love.
**Sir John is creepily nice to his female cousins. Giving them a place to live an all. He also throws parties for the younger crowd. All. The. Fucking. Time. If this book were written today Sir John would be driving a van without windows.