Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Mansfield Park: The Charlie Sheen Chronicles Part I

Chapters Read: 1 - 12
Sanity Level: Charlie Sheen
Update: Is it over yet?

Not the challenge. This book. I'm aware that it's hated by a majority of Austen fans. I was hoping--oh I was hoping--that I'd be different. Nope. At one point I snapped and threw the book across the room:
It was Fanny's first ball, though without the preparation or splendour of many a young lady's first ball, being the thought only of the afternoon, built on the late acquisition of a violin player in the servants' hall, and the possibility of raising five couple with the help of Mrs. Grant and a new intimate friend of Mr. Bertram's just arrived on a visit.
I've gone insane.
I am all for a 62 word sentence with four commas when it's well written. This isn't the case. It keeps happening over and over again. It's like Austen said "Hehe. I think I'll make this novel long and boring; just like a walk in the park."

The first few chapters had Austen introducing character after character and I couldn't keep up. Introductions would be made, the character would disappear for several long and boring chapters, and then reappear later. Which is fine with a modern novel; not so much with a Victorian one that I have to sit and decode.

EXTREME PLOT BREAKDOWN THAT IS REALLY EXTREME AND EXCITING DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE PRONE TO HEART ATTACKS OR FAINTING SPELLS:
Edmund and Fanny have talked about horses and walks in the park; others have joined them. Edmund and Fanny have grown up together. Edmund is currently flirting with other girls as far as I can tell (the wording of this novel keeps throwing me off as to what is actually happening) and Fanny is getting jealous.

Edmund cares a lot for Fanny while others do not. It is plainly stated by a Mrs. Bertram that Their rank, fortune, rights, and expectations will always be different. (Don't listen to Mrs. Bertram. She carries around a little puggle dog like Paris Hilton. She's also a rich snob and Edmund's mother. So, yeah, I keep picturing her as Paris Hilton.)

It's clear that Edmund and Fanny are destined to fall in love even though the--get this--the odds are against them. Because no couple ever in a Jane Austen novel ever had the odds against them.

I am having a lot of trouble determining what this one is about. Is it about Edmund going into the clergy? Is it about children (there's a lot)? Is it about adultery as the back cover suggests? I'm going to cut out my crankiness, grit my teeth, and just bare this one for a bit more.

8 comments:

  1. I have no idea. this post is all over the place and so is this book.

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  2. Oh my gah I'm laughing so hard. Your least favorite book could potentially yield my favorite set of blog posts. So read on, reader.

    WINNING!

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  3. Yeah, so not WINNING right now. I almost want to crack open a bottle of wine and read this so as to be more entertained (it's 2PM here).

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  4. Crack open the wine and hope, HOPE that it gets you though.

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    Replies
    1. I completely did. Of course, everything turned into a mish mash of hobble podge (I just made up a bunch of words) but that just means it was the same.

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