Emma: The Felicity-less Report

Chapters Read: 1-8
Sanity Level: Completely Clueless
Update: Having a day off makes a difference.

It also hinders my progress. I read 50 pages of Emma yesterday. I'm faltering because I went to film an In My Mailbox vlog and saw all the wonderful books pouring in begging to be read.

I also have eight days left to read the three remaining Jane Austen novels. Thankfully I have nothing better to do with my time but read the rest of the novels (this is in no way a shock to me). Anyways.

Duuuude. Emma, is like, totally hot.

If you've seen the movie Clueless then you know the premise of Emma; Clueless is based on Emma. So naturally I keep imaging Alicia Silverstone dressed as Batgirl as Emma. And her best friend--the unattractive Harriet Smith--she's trying to hookup with Mr. Elton is Brittany Murphy (insert the all too soon zombie joke here).

See, Emma Woodhouse never wants to fall in love; she's a rich girl and her life is perfect as is. She spends all her time making other people fall in love; hooking them up with their significant others. She's quite good at it as her neighbors the Knightleys attest (Isabella Knightley is Emma's older sister and the other Knightley is her brother-in-law; I will forget this after another 50 pages of reading because everyone is Mr. This or Mrs. That or Miss This. Fuck having first names, right?).

Harriet has already had one proposal after arriving as the new girl in town. From a Mr. Martin. Emma talks Harriet out of accepting his proposal because Mr. Martin is so gross. I'm imaging Mr. Martin as the stoner dude from the movie Clueless. She then goes on to paint a portrait of Harriet for Elton. Elton is taking the portrait to London to get it framed.

That's not odd at all. It is completely normal to commission a painting of a girl you just met and hang it in your home. It's also completely normal for me to use the word felicity in conversation and get blank stares these days. Thanks a lot, Jane Austen. Thanks.