Monday, January 23, 2012

Emma: The Felicity-less Report

Chapters Read: 1-8
Sanity Level: Completely Clueless
Update: Having a day off makes a difference.

It also hinders my progress. I read 50 pages of Emma yesterday. I'm faltering because I went to film an In My Mailbox vlog and saw all the wonderful books pouring in begging to be read.

I also have eight days left to read the three remaining Jane Austen novels. Thankfully I have nothing better to do with my time but read the rest of the novels (this is in no way a shock to me). Anyways.

Duuuude. Emma, is like, totally hot.
If you've seen the movie Clueless then you know the premise of Emma; Clueless is based on Emma. So naturally I keep imaging Alicia Silverstone dressed as Batgirl as Emma. And her best friend--the unattractive Harriet Smith--she's trying to hookup with Mr. Elton is Brittany Murphy (insert the all too soon zombie joke here).

See, Emma Woodhouse never wants to fall in love; she's a rich girl and her life is perfect as is. She spends all her time making other people fall in love; hooking them up with their significant others. She's quite good at it as her neighbors the Knightleys attest (Isabella Knightley is Emma's older sister and the other Knightley is her brother-in-law; I will forget this after another 50 pages of reading because everyone is Mr. This or Mrs. That or Miss This. Fuck having first names, right?).

Harriet has already had one proposal after arriving as the new girl in town. From a Mr. Martin. Emma talks Harriet out of accepting his proposal because Mr. Martin is so gross. I'm imaging Mr. Martin as the stoner dude from the movie Clueless. She then goes on to paint a portrait of Harriet for Elton. Elton is taking the portrait to London to get it framed.

That's not odd at all. It is completely normal to commission a painting of a girl you just met and hang it in your home. It's also completely normal for me to use the word felicity in conversation and get blank stares these days. Thanks a lot, Jane Austen. Thanks.


  1. All I can think about when I read this post is when the Brittney Murphy character and Cher are at the restaurant and the Brittney character says Oh God, they're playing our song...the one that Elton and I danced to. Rollin with the homies...and she does that little dance with her hands. And then she starts banging her head on the table.

    But I think I'm supposed to be thinking about Emma, not Clueless. Oops, Asheley fail. But yay for Emma, all light and airy.

  2. Now I'm going to be humming rollin' with my hommies all day.

  3. I've been humming the song all day too. Ha. Clueless is such a 90s movie! Such a great decade. *memories* Oh wait....this is about Emma...haha. ;0) Seems then the cool thing was no first name and now it's no last name. Maybe in the future we'll just go by numbers.

  4. I needed to thank you for this very good read!!
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