Monday, November 14, 2011

Matched - a review (kind of)

Matched - Ally Condie - 400 pages

No. No, no, no, no. I'm not suppose to like this book. I'm supposed to say "This book is a fad that The Hunger Games started". I'm supposed to think "Cassia Reyes is an amalgam of Katniss Everdeen and Bella Swan and that one chick from Parks & Recreation (the evil one with no expression on her face ever)".

No. No no no. I am not suppose to want to read the sequel. I DO NOT WANT TO READ THE SEQUEL.

See, what'll happen is that I'll be out and someone will bring up the book and it'll be another Twilight moment for me: "Wait. You're a guy and you read Twilight? What the fuck is wrong with you? That book is for teenage girls; you're a 28-year-old man."

Bella Everdeen
Cassia Reyes is a teenage girl living in some far off future where A-murrica doesn't exist. The Society has replaced it. The Society does everything by statistics. The Society figures out what people should eat, where they should live, how long they should live, and who they should be Matched (mated) with.

Cassia gets Matched with her best friend Xander. That never happens. It's statistically impossible, apparently. Cassia and Xander are both happy until Cassia sees a different guy pop up on her Match dot com profile; a boy she knows as well. Dunh dunh dunhhhhh.

His name is Ky and he is mysterious. That's all you need to know about Ky because that's all you're going to find out about him.

Cassia starts to fall for Ky, Ky starts to fall for Cassia, and Xander is as clueless as one of those guys on Cheaters. The Officials are onto Cassia and Ky, though. Oh boy are they onto them. The Society is an all-powerful government and they love to spend time tracking two canoodling teenagers. Because that's what governments do.

Matched follows the J.J. Abrams formula that I love so much: DON'T EXPLAIN A FUCKING THING. That way it'll gnaw at me until I finally cave and read the next book that will NOT EXPLAIN A DAMN THING. That way I can read the third book and finally find out that Locke was in a wheelchair. Wait, wrong medium and wrong story. I meant find out that the Society is actually governed by snoopy teenage girls. That'd be a heck of a plot twist, right?

Yes, I liked it. Yes. I will read the sequel. And yes, I'm going to squeal like a little girl when the third book comes out.



  1. This might be my favorite review of this book ever.

  2. I think this is the best review of Matched I've ever read. And I've read A LOT. Bravo.

  3. Thank you both. I don't know if cursing is allowed in reviews of young adult novels but I think it would be nifty if we all did.

  4. I now have the urge to search my blog to see if I've ever cursed on there. I feel like I may have at some point. I usually do when it's most inappropriate. Like in church, or Nintendo World in front of a party of young children.

  5. I said shit once and it made me feel naughty haha

  6. oh my god, my sides hurt. i'm just moving backwards in time on this blog and you are so stinking funny. but everyone else told you first so you already know that.

    also, i just read this book last week. and i really want to read the second book because i loved matched. someone asked me today what i loved about it, and i couldn't really give an honest straight answer. i just did. it was all romance-y up in the dystopian hood, and i guess that did it for me.

  7. Thank you Asheley! I am looking forward to the second book but I need a break from dystopian novels (I've read three in a row--gah). I just finished Blood Red Road (and will be posting the review on Thursday, probably).


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